When I was in school (by which I mean elementary school, because I'm still in school, which would make that previous sentence a self-contained time paradox), recycling was the latest fad. We were told all sorts of facts related to recycling. But my favorite was that recycling just one soda can could power my TV for eight hours. How does that work? Is there some real life Mr. Fusion out there that powers TVs and other appliances? And if so, why don't I have one? If that's all it takes why is my electric bill so damn high when I can get a 12-pack of Coke for $5? For $5 I can power my TV for four straight days. I demand that this convenience be made available to me.
Also, I want to be able to turn my garbage into hot dogs via the Dog-O-Matic.
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